I Am Not the Help, I Am the Vision

There is a difference between serving and being seen as small enough to serve.

Service, in its truest form, is powerful—it’s leadership in motion, a choice to pour into something greater than yourself. But too often, women are expected to carry the load quietly, to do the invisible work that allows others to shine, while our own contributions remain unacknowledged.

And sometimes, that expectation comes laced with something uglier.

I remember the moment vividly. A Lieutenant Colonel—someone who wore the uniform of leadership—looked me in the eye and referred to me as “the help.” The words dripped with entitlement, the kind that doesn’t just dismiss your role, but your humanity. He thought it was fine. Normal. Acceptable.

It wasn’t.

In that instant, I felt my ancestors standing with me. I could imagine what they might feel—knowing I am their wildest dream, living in spaces they were never allowed to enter, wearing the rank they were denied, speaking with a voice they fought to keep alive. To have someone reduce all of that to “the help” was not only an insult to me—it was an insult to them.

And I knew I could not, would not, let it stand.

I corrected him. Not with rage, but with the kind of steady, unshakable voice that leaves no room for misunderstanding. I made it clear: I am not “the help.” I am the leader, the strategist, the architect. I am the one who builds the plan you execute, the vision you follow.

Because here’s the truth—we are not here to be background characters in someone else’s story. We are not simply the hands that carry the weight. We are the minds that see the path forward. We are the voice in the room that says, this can be done better, and then makes it happen.

We are not just helpers. We are architects. We are leaders. We are the vision—and it is time the world sees it.

And if someone is still so bound by bias—whether racism, sexism, or the small-minded belief that leadership looks only one way—that they cannot see it, then that blindness is theirs to carry.

Not mine.